Experts explain why modern couples struggle to connect

Relationship experts have identified five common habits that modern couples often dismiss as normal but which can quietly damage their relationships over time.

Dr Vartika Vishwani and Dr Sunny Garg shared the insights in an Instagram post dated June 11, 2026, according to Hindustan Times.

Relationships need more than love

The experts said relationships are not just built on love. Trust, respect and compatibility also play a key role. They explained that relationships often break down not because love is missing, but because people are overstimulated, emotionally tired and mentally distracted. This leaves couples surviving rather than truly connecting, causing patience, softness and emotional safety to disappear.

According to the experts, modern relationships also carry the weight of childhood wounds, burnout, social media pressure, comparison and unhealed trauma. Nervous systems rarely get a chance to rest.

Love alone cannot fix this. Healthy relationships are built on emotional safety, calm communication and the ability to repair after conflict. Feeling safe enough to be fully yourself matters too. The experts said it is time to stop performing love on the internet.

1. Not initiating a call or text

Despite easy access to texts, calls and video calls, many couples fail to take the first step after a fight. Often, each partner waits for the other to reach out first, focusing on who was at fault. The experts said this mindset is the problem. In a relationship, it should not be about one partner versus the other, but both partners against the issue itself.

2. Yelling during arguments

Arguments and conflicts are a normal part of any relationship. However, using them as a way to hurt the other person creates distance rather than resolution. Yelling or saying hurtful things during a fight can escalate tension. The experts said couples do not need to resolve every argument immediately. Taking time to calm down before discussing what went wrong can be more effective.

3. Sending angry texts during fights

Text messages can easily lead to misunderstandings, especially during arguments. Sending angry or lengthy messages in the heat of the moment can make things worse. The experts recommend resolving conflicts over a call or in person instead, since tone is often lost in text messages.

4. Bringing up the past during conflicts

Many couples bring up old mistakes during a fight, which only makes the argument bigger rather than helping resolve it. The experts advise focusing on the current issue and working to fix it, rather than reopening past wounds.

5. Assuming things

Relationships cannot run on assumptions, the experts said. Partners need to communicate their feelings clearly, as no one can read minds. For a healthy relationship, honesty and clarity are essential. Silent treatment, the experts warned, can negatively impact the relationship.

Note: This article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice. Please consult a qualified expert for personalised guidance.