Colton Underwood reflects on past struggles and 'darkest' period before coming out

Colton Underwood has shared candid details about what he describes as one of the “darkest” periods of his life, reflecting on the ways he tried to protect himself before publicly coming out as gay in 2021.

The former The Bachelor lead opened up during an appearance on the We Need to Talk podcast with host Paul C. Brunson, discussing his experiences prior to embracing his identity publicly.

Underwood said that during his closeted years, he made specific choices in his personal life as a way of protecting himself from exposure.

“To protect myself, I would only hook up with married men. [Married] ‘straight’ men,” he said during the interview.

He explained that this was part of a personal “rule” he followed at the time, adding that he believed those individuals would have more to lose if his sexuality were ever revealed.

“When I was in the closet, that would be the only time I would ever hook up with men was if they were married … because they had more to lose than I did,” he said.

Underwood added that, during that period, he was still trying to understand himself while being cautious about the risks he felt he faced.

“I was very careful, even when I was physically experimenting with guys and trying to, like, figure myself out,” he said.

The former athlete, who previously played professional football before a career-ending shoulder injury, came out publicly in 2021.

Since then, he has spoken in various interviews about his journey toward self-acceptance and the challenges he faced while hiding his sexuality.