Expert reveals primary personality change indicating interpersonal manipulation

Psychological researcher Dr Leanne ten Brinke highlighted a sudden change in personality as the primary sign of interpersonal manipulation during a discussion on social media on July 21, 2026.

Instagram content creator, host, and author Mel Robbins shared the conversation with ten Brinke, a specialist in dark personalities, to help individuals identify subtle manipulation early. Manipulation rarely starts with dramatic arguments or obvious control, often appearing in everyday conversations and causing individuals to question their own thoughts, feelings, and memories. Persistent feelings of guilt after conversations can also indicate that a person is experiencing psychological manipulation.

Ten Brinke emphasised that a distinct shift in behaviour serves as the major red flag when someone seeks time, money, or value from another person. Manipulators often present a carefully curated version of themselves to their target, acting attentive, charming, thoughtful, and considerate. They frequently agree with opinions and mirror interests during the early stages of a relationship to appear as the ideal friend, partner, boss, or colleague.

To spot these warning signs, ten Brinke advised observing how a person treats individuals they perceive to have less power rather than focusing solely on how they treat their target. Disrespectful, rude, impatient, or dismissive conduct towards service workers—such as baristas, drivers, waitstaff, domestic workers, restaurant hosts, customer service staff, or security guards—reflects a deeper personality trait rather than an isolated bad mood.

Robbins noted in her caption that someone being consistently kind to a target while acting consistently cruel to others provides critical information about their true character. Ten Brinke warned that this behaviour forms part of a broader dark personality pattern. While a target may initially receive preferential treatment, the manipulator will eventually treat them with the same hostility over time.

Note: This article is based on user-generated content from social media, and the claims have not been independently verified. It is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice.