Stephen Colbert answers all 15 Questionert questions in his penultimate 'Late Show' episode

• Colbert answered all 15 of his own Questionert questions on his penultimate Late Show episode
• Billy Crystal, Robert De Niro, Martha Stewart and Josh Brolin were among the celebrity questioners
• His five-word description of the rest of his life was: "My family, my friends, fun"
  

Stephen Colbert continued his farewell run on CBS's Late Show on Wednesday with his penultimate episode, bringing one of the show's most beloved recurring segments to a close with the assistance of a remarkable roster of celebrity guests.

The 62-year-old comedian took over from David Letterman in September 2015. One of his most popular creations — the "Colbert Questionert" — made its debut in January 2021, with Meryl Streep the first to answer the segment's 15 questions.

Over the following five years, the feature produced viral moments from the likes of Prince Harry, Keanu Reeves and many more.

With Thursday's secretive series finale fast approaching, Colbert finally sat in the hot seat himself, answering all 15 questions put to him by a parade of celebrated guests, all introduced by John Dickerson.

The best sandwich and the first concert

Comedy legend Billy Crystal opened proceedings with the first question: "What is the best sandwich?" Colbert's answer was seasonal. In summer, he declared, it is "a tomato sandwich on very thin white bread." For the rest of the year, however, his preference shifts.

"The rest of the year, wherever you are, hot pastrami on rye with a little bit of mustard, and if the guy behind the counter is willing, little coleslaw. And if it's not kosher deli, I'll take a little muenster on there," he said.

"Weird" Al Yankovic followed, asking Colbert about his first concert. The answer was Chuck Mangione, during his Children of the Sanchez tour.

Wolf Boy, trap-door spiders and a gift from eBay

Josh Brolin — whom Colbert revealed is saved in his phone as "Wolf Boy" — asked what the scariest animal was.

"The scariest animal to me is a trap door spider. Little sand, nothing wrong. They come out, and they pull you back in. Here's the part that's even scarier than that, Josh Brolin. A scientist named a trapdoor spider after me," Colbert said.

Indeed, a spider discovered along the California coast in 2007 was formally named Aptostichus stephencolberti in his honour in 2008. Brolin also presented Colbert with a ship in a bottle sourced from eBay, inscribed with the words: "May you always glide through life's sometimes tumultuous waters."

Apples, autographs and the afterlife

Martha Stewart kept things simple with her question — apples or oranges? — to which Colbert replied: "Well, you can't put peanut butter on an orange, so I'm gonna risk the wrath of the seraphim and say apple."

Mark Hamill asked whether Colbert had ever sought an autograph from anyone himself. He had requested Steve Martin's signature after a show the two had performed together.

Perhaps the most reflective moment of the evening came when comedian Jim Gaffigan posed the question: "What do you think happens when we die?"

"I think of it's more like a feeling, I think there is some continuance of some kind, but it's like a dispersion of ones self into some other greater being, and I don't have any of feelings beyond that," Colbert replied.

Gaffigan's deadpan response: "What you're saying is we become Febreze."

Bladders, smells and earliest memories

Colbert told Jeff Daniels that his favourite action film is Raiders of the Lost Ark, and informed Tiffany Haddish that he favours aisle seats on aeroplanes because he has "the bladder of a baby chipmunk."

His wife Evie appeared to ask about his favourite smell — a kai rose-scented lotion she wears when preparing to go out. "I know when I smell that you're in there wearing very little," he added warmly.

His Strangers With Candy co-star Amy Sedaris asked about his least favourite smell — a deeply unpleasant scent from childhood, discovered at a neighbour's house: a jar of grease that had leaked into a bag of sugar.

"I never smelled anything that bad," he said, noting he still cannot adequately describe it.

Ben Stiller asked about his earliest memory — a recollection of his mother painting in his room when he was approximately three or four years old and not yet able to speak.

"I remember what I was trying to tell her, and I was trying to tell her about the dream I had the night before," about an albino alligator at the National Zoo in Washington D.C.

Aubrey Plaza asked simply: "Cats or dogs?" After a long pause, Colbert replied: "I have lived with both of them" — before settling on "Dogs."

Three — and the Epstein files

Robert De Niro posed the now-infamous Questionert query: "What number are you thinking of?" Colbert finally revealed the true answer: three.

"Meryl Streep and Ethan Hawke guessed correctly. Three. That's the number I was thinking of," he confirmed — though De Niro quipped that he had anticipated 2.5 million, the number of Epstein files he suggested President Trump had not yet released.

Five words for the rest of his life

Dickerson closed out the segment with the final question: "How would you describe the rest of your life in five words?"

Colbert's answer was characteristically considered: "My family, my friends, fun."

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert concludes on Thursday night on CBS with an extended finale episode. Guests have not yet been announced.